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=me, myself & i..=
 shikin . 22 yrs young . aries . happily attached to dear bucuk for 5 yrs ++ . hot tempered . vain . nose stud . petite . long hair . playful . bossy . naughty . jealous . shopaholic . clubaholic . beautyholic . stubborn . fussy . self-centered . indecisive . part of mhc's pussycat dollz  u dun like my blog.i dun giv a damn.my blog.my space.i write wat i wan.wat i feel.u hav no rite to judge me.cos u duno me.n if u dun like me.simple.tis sign is 4 u. 
=mood of da dae..= 
=wishy wishy list..=
*- =linkie winkie..= +my multiply+ +kar+ +yats+ +kar+ +yats+ +vv+ +vv's multiply+ +farhana+ +zhaoting+ +my sista+ +julie+ +my sista II+ +lil+ +iki+ +ruq+ +nad+ +ana+ +mars+ +ikin+ +judy+ +irah+ +isha+ +acah+ +dila+ +nana+ +wana+ +yana+ +tina+ +aziie+ +riana+ +wanie+ +smotz+ +liana+ +nisah+ +hanis+ +zanna+ +brutel-liya+ +sasha+ +fetish+ +shikin+ +balqis+ +marryy+ +eza doll+ +nana sky+ +lady nuer+ +irahcine+ +nanachica+ +valentina+ +nana cyber+ +covergirl+ +fid+ +sam+ +A`k+ +emy+ +ian+ +pogy+ +nizam+ +faredz+ +bukitzboys+ =taggie waggie..= =yesterdaez newz..= June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 September 2005 October 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 April 2006 May 2006 July 2006 August 2006 October 2006 November 2006 =now playin..= Story of my life Searchin for the right But it keeps avoidin me Sorrow in my soul cos it seems tt wrg reali luvs my company He's more than a man & tis is more than luv the reason tt the sky is blue the clouds are rolling in becos I'm gone again & to him I just cant be true & I noe tt he noes I'm unfaithful & it kills him inside to know tt I am happy with sum other guy I can see him dyin I dun wana do this anymore I dun wana be the reason y Everytime I walk out the door I see him die a little more inside I dun wana hurt him anymore I dun wana take away his life I dun wana be a murderer I feel it in the air as I'm doin my hair preparin for another day A kiss up on my cheek He's here reluctantly as if I'm gona be out late I say I wont be long Just hangin wif the girls A lie I didn't have to tell Becos we both know where I'm abt to go & we know it very well our love, His trust I might as well take a gun & put it to his head Get it over with I dont wana do tis anymore =my luv..= 
=my can't-live-withouts..= family money make-up lollipops gold anklet SHIKIN pendant pink guess handbag Creative mp3 player mhc's pussycat dolls pink motorola razr v3 colored contact lenses =my turn-ons..= bags PINK sales CHAOS GUESS babies reggae techno clothes clubbin durians shoppin OSMOSE coke lite babybucuk club MOMO spicy food babydoll tops anythin BLACK jiwangz songs cute PINK tops FUTURE STATE GOLD jewellery little BLACK heels FAMOUS AMOS cookies BEN & JERRY'S ice cream =my turn-offs..= seafood fake ppl bein sick bein broke stuck-up ppl backstabbers gainin weight two faced ppl =hall of fame..= 
Many thx to my lil sis..for da assistance rendered to tis computer idiot (ie.ME!!).. Image thanks to Lil sis Powered by Blogger Hosted at Blogskins Layout by Rachel |
Saturday, November 11, 2006
hey peeps..i juz hav tis naggin feelin for da past few days which i reali need to share wif someone..but i juz dunno who..
firstly, let me ask u tis question..HAV U EVER REALI LOVED SOMEONE SO MUCH TAT U WISH U CAN FORGET HIM FOREVER??well..i do.. very ironic question..but i guess if ur in my position now..u'll understand how i reali feel..i feel hurt now..deeply hurt..i've been cryin everydae without fail da past few days but no one..ABSOLUTELY NO ONE..understands my pain.. secondly, lemme ask u another question..HAV U EVER TRIED SO HARD TO PLEASE SOMEONE, MAKE HIM DA HAPPIEST MAN ON EARTH..BUT IN RETURN TAT SOMEONE DOES NOT APPRECIATE EVEN A SINGLE THING TAT U DO..EVEN SCOLDIN U EVERYDAY..USING WORDS TAT R EVEN TOO PAINFUL TO HEAR??again..i did.. well..fyi..i'm on block leave for tis whole week now..so i tot i'd try and put in sum extra effort into my "ailing" relationship..like da old ppl wld say.."masa tunang memang byk dugaan"..maybe we both might be a happier couple by end of tis wk..but its already da end of da week..and here i am cryin my heart's out wif no one..literally no one to turn to.. to cut a long story short..i spend da past 3 days tryin to spend quality time wif him..but i ended up bein closer to his family instead, which is a good thing lah..but our "ailing" relationship's takin a turn for da worse..cos someone was juz too busy at work or spendin time wif his frens..he wld onli be home at nite and by then..he'd fall asleep as soon as he hits da bed..leavin me all alone again.. u noe wat..i realised it makes no diff for me to be there..for him, it was like havin a maid to serve his meals..on the fan..and then i'm juz supposed to watch him fall asleep..no quality time..no nothings..not even a single word of appreciation..roughly out of the 72 hrs i was there..onli 3 hrs spent wif him, wif not much interaction..15 hrs wif both of us asleep..and the rest..spent the time WITHOUT HIM..wow..amazing.. i dun understand..are his frens much more impt than his TUNGGUL fiancee??didnt he spend enuff time at work wif dem??are they the ones he's gonna settle down wif??are they the ones who's gonna make him happy all his life and bear him kids??doesn't he noe tat its my ONLI one week block leave for tis few months??can't he juz sacrifice a few days of coming home earli frm werk to spend time with "someone called fiancee" since SHE have SACRIFICED spendin time wif her OWN FAMILY in order to spend time wif HIM and strengthen our relationship which is overwhelmed wif problems?? gosh..so many questions runnin thru my mind tat i wish he could answer..i really dun understand him..i'm breakin into pieces deep inside..and i dunno how much longer i can hold..i kept tellin myself to be patient and remain strong..but my patience runnin thin..i reali dun tink i can take tis any longer.. i'm hurting now with him..but i'd be hurting MORE without him..i luv him so much..but i can't tolerate the way he's treatin me..tats y i asked u ppl da first question..if onli u can forget the person u luv so much in order to save urself frm gettin hurt..cos y wld i wanna get hurt for SOMEONE WHO DOES NOT EVEN CARE ABT MY FEELINGS??true?? and the moral of the story is..i DUN understand men..or to put it generally..WOMEN WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND MAN..but if any women out there do..pls giv me some enlightenment will ya??  da woman who doesn't understand men..in happier times.. :( <$shikin$> reflected on 1:59 AM Monday, October 02, 2006
here's a quickie entry..lemme juz summarise wat i've been up to lately when i was mia-ing frm ma blog..
1) i quitted frm markhan..yes..i FINALLY did..on da 8th SEPT 06 to be exact after 1 yr and 7 mths there.. 2) i got ENGAGED!!serious..no joke..and to who else but my baby bucuk!!we FINALLY got engaged on 3rd SEPT 06 after more than 5 yrs bein together and it was on his 24th bdae to be exact..awww..so here's a happi belated bdae to my "newly minted" fiance bucuk and dun ya tink tat i'm ur BEST & BIGGEST (not literally lah..u noe how "mini" i am rite!!) bdae pressie ever baby??heh.. :p 3) HADY MIRZA was finally crowned SG idol on 25th SEPT 06!!absolute YAY-NESS after all da voting!!but then it means me & my dolls won't hav anythin to watch on weds & thurs frm now on..no more crazy votin for HADY..no more long, excited conversations during da shows wif yats doll..no more excited smses frm cuzzies..no "IMAGINARY" votes for awats doll to make anymore..banyak kau punya 30 eh!!hehe..in all..no more HADY to drool at now..at least we made his dream cum true huh dolls except for our "koyak" pockets..heh..but one thing won't stop i can assure u..us fightin over HADY!!well..wat to do..we gurls got a hell of an imagination..and i do hav tis urge to lick tat cute face of his!!:p (bucuk..pls note its only a fantasy..not real hor!!) 4) i went into a short "unemployment" period..or to put it in a nicer way..a short "holiday"..hehe..and i reali enjoyed da whole 3 wks of it!!i was literally practisin da MRT system..Makan..Rehat..Tido!!pure HEAVEN i tell u..but i had to cut my "holiday" short..cos i had an offer which was too good to be true!! 5) i got a very good work "lobang" frm an ex colleague of mine..so i try lah..da interview was tough..but i received a call on 28th SEPT 06 and to my utter amazement..i got da job!!so i'm officially employed again tomoro onwards..yay-ness!! so one might be askin wat i'm doin up at 12 midnite when its ma first day at work tomoro??well firstly..i had tis sudden urge to update u ppl on all da WONDERFUL stuffs tat happened to me in SEPT 06..SEPT was definitely a GREAT month for me tis yr..and secondly..once i start work tomoro..i can FORESEE tat i'd be desertin my blog again for sum time..gotta focus on my new job hor!!hehe.. but there's good news for u ppl though..i'll be uploading more pics instead on my multiply..cos i tink it's less time consumin and i'm such a camwhore!!haha..for a start..i've uploaded sum pics for u ppl..and yes..it includes my ENGAGEMENT PICS!!sorry i didnt upload dem earlier or inform u ppl abt my engagement plans..cos i've been very "engaged" in da preparations..heh..not easy hor!!very time and energy consumin!!so i hope u ppl enjoy da fotos..i better go sleep now..tomolo early2 muz wake up for werk..SCB here i cumm!! here's a sneak preview..  i'm officially "booked"!!hehe.. for more pics..pls go to - http://shiksbabydoll.multiply.com <$shikin$> reflected on 12:14 AM Thursday, August 24, 2006
i'm back..sori been soo overwhelmed wif work n all..n i do hav an upcoming surprise news which i'm gonna announce soon..maybe when the time is rite..well i cant blog much for da next few entries due to lack of time..but wat i can do is upload tons n tons of canwhorin pics!!i hope tt will make up for my lack of entries..hehe..so here goes..
as u all noe..lil old me is a clubberholic..my fave haunt wif my dolls is definitely MOS..sumtimes even twice a wk..tts how addicted we are..we soo cant get enuff of MOS..hehe..but we do occassionally go to devils & zouk..depends on occassion lah.. n tts wat we're plannin for 1 sept 06 actually..we're gonna hav an advance bdae celebration for bucuk..me, ma dolls n yol (bucuk's gay partner..can u believe tt yol specially took leave frm werk so tt we cld celebrate pai's bdae?? yats n me r gettin worried tt our bfs might leave us for each other..haha..but jokes aside..i tink its reali sweet of yol to do tt for bucuk..n i do reali appreciate bucuk finally bein all so comfortable wif ma frens now..i luv u for doin tt baby.. now i dun even hav to ask him along during our outings but bucuk will volunteer on his own..AMAZIN huh!! enuff of ma story tellin..here's a lil peek to my collection of clubbin pics..  lil ms clubbaholic..  me n awat b4 mos..  wif two of my fave ppl..but oops..where's ma hand!!hehe..  awats bdae @ zouk..back in march 2006..  ajo..ashiks..achan @ zouk..  me n aza otw to zouk..  pole dancin part 2.. <$shikin$> reflected on 6:56 PM Saturday, July 22, 2006
next up..pics on mother's day last may..woahh..how fast time flies huh..n yeah..tis was ard da time dat i juz curled ma hair..a whole new diff hairstyle..straight or curly better??u ppl be da judge..but i dun deny tt i seriously miss ma long straight hair..dunno how long i'll keep tis hairstyle..lets juz wait n see..hard to maintain sumtimes..making me itch to rebond ma hair again..hehe..
back to mother's dae..me n ma siblings treated ma mummy n ma auntie n her lil kids to a feast @ lau pa sat..food heaven!!hehehe..so now left for u all to "feast" on da fotos onli lah..short & sweet..enjoy!!  me n ma fave lil brat..  ma bro..lil brat n me..  us siblings wif one extra lil fatty..  two mother's on mother's dae..n y does she have to be i every pic??!!  hungry ppl waitin for food!!  like mother..like daughter..  ma happi family.. <$shikin$> reflected on 1:06 PM Friday, July 21, 2006
i'm back!!!hehehe..wat a long break i had huh..but it wasnt on purpose lah..my com is down again..it alwes neva fails to be down whenever i'm feelin a little rajin to blog..haiz..now hav to buat baik to my sis so she'd lend me her laptop..how pathetic huh..but i seriously hav soo many pics to put up but so lil time..cannot tahan uh!!
i reali appreciate u ppl still visitin my blog n taggin though its kinda goin thru a dry spell..so in order to reward ur "patience"..lemme try n squeeze as many updates n pics today orh..hehe.. BUT FIRST!!lemme juz set records straight..i'm no longer wif so-called "baybeh".. been few mths oready..luckily haven update any pics of him..hehhe..n i noe u guys are gonna be soo bored wif wat ur gonna hear nxt..i'm back wif bucuk AGAIN..but i seriously wanna make dis da very last..cos he means too much to me..i can't do w/o him..u noe i luv ya bucuk.. :) ok..first up..ma bdae pics..backdate to 8 april 2006..can't upload all cos sum pics contains UNDESIRABLE PPL in it..whahah..so lets juz make do wif wat i CAN upload k..better than nothin.. :P  da pinkie bdae gurl!!..  ma most loved dolls!!  beloved ex-markhan ladies..  guys back frm ma sec sch daze..  family portrait..  dun pollute my food guys!!  da hardworkin "food preparers".. <$shikin$> reflected on 8:18 PM Saturday, May 13, 2006
u noe wat..i've got soo many pics to upload for u ppl to see..but soo lil time!!haizz..so while waitin for ma sis whose taking ages to shower..lemme juz squeeze one entry..backdate to sunday 30 april 2006..eve of labour day..3 of us dolls went to mos despite having juz been there 2 days ago..which is friday 28 april 06..haha..fri went wif baybeh n frens n ma dolls..but the outcome was not tt good due to sum misunderstandin..but nevertheless..baybeh n i managed to tok things out as usual..n da endin was fine..rite baybeh, yats n yol??hahaha..
as for sun..we dolls were in need of a gurls nite out..tot wanted to go reggae nite @ hrc..but wat da heck..dah kat luar mos masok jer lah..hehe..in da end baybeh went hrc..hahaa..well..it wasn't as pack as fris n suns..but the best thing is tt the bouncer dah recognise our face..he sd to me "wah u regular here ah"..haha..until the pink color security guys oso dah naik kenal..n havin seen us wif our bunch of guys all tis while..one of the abg security even asked vv.."mana pahlawan2 krg??".. hahah..pahlawan ehh!!smer kena tgl pat umah!!hehe..one of da cute abg security even asked ma name..but i was so shocked i juz walked off..but he's so cute!!he sd tt our entry chop was the wrg one..n asked for my passport..how cheeky.. i hav soo many more mos n zouk pics to upload..wif our "pahlawans" n all..haha..but one at a time k..now me wanna go bathe..gotta run sum errands wif mama..then off to mos tonite wif ma dolls..another gurls nite out..no guys allowed!!haha..thk god ma baybeh's so understandin..u dun say i enjoy tak ingat u tau!!wait tonite i beep u when i'm clubbin aights..i noe ma limits..i noe i'm attached.. :) p.s: bucuk..i noe u read ma blog..i'm happi for u..the prev entry was for u..i hope she's treatin u better then i treat u..n for sum ppl..get tis..i'm happy for him..so dun go ard tellin others tt i'm sad he's attached!!  pole-dancin anyone??  a lil darker..a lil more kinky..  ma outfit for da day..  another shot at da mos toilet for our collection..  mos addicts..  ma hard partyin dolls..  ma shadow..  feels incomplete without her..  boogie-ing @ da dance floor.. <$shikin$> reflected on 4:49 PM Tuesday, May 09, 2006
heya..dunno y but i juz feel like bloggin tonite..maybe i juz need an outlet to vent my frustrations..feelins or wateva it is..seriously..i dunno y i'm feelin like tis..how do i describe tis feelin..hmm..down..lost..disappointed..direction-less..i used to tink tt i WAS happy..tt i cld finally move on..but if i reali was..y on earth am i feelin tis way now..i'm so confused..
maybe i shldn't pretend to be so strong..cos tt i noe i'm not..deep inside..i'm reali the fragile girl tt is afraid of gettin hurt..n whenever i'm afraid of being hurt..i get defensive..i've got no choice cos i have to protect myself..sumtimes i wish tt everythin was as simple as it seems..everyone is perfect..but sadly..no one is..somethin which i hav learnt to accept in my 22 yrs of life.. or maybe..i shldn't have pretended to be fine wif everthin & eager to noe wat's happenin in "other ppl's" life now..when i noe i can neva take it..da fact tt i can never be ok wif wat i'd be hearin..but its too late now huh..i've heard..n i'm down..so super down.. but all i can say is tt i'm hapi for u..u finally moved on..i guess ur happier now with someone tt makes u happi n wont hurt u like how i did..i heard ur doin things tt u neva did when ur wif me..spendin all ur time n money on her..maybe u learnt frm da mistakes made wif me..gd for u..wish u all da best..n i wish tt i was at LEAST HALF as happy abt my life now as ur wif ur life..karma maybe..wat goes ard cums ard.. <$shikin$> reflected on 11:56 PM |
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